Embarking of this adventure called school has long been an anticipated dream
of mine.
The build-up to this particular day has been nothing short of monumental;
after all, I am “the Baby”.
More importantly, it marks my break from the eagle-eye of my Mother…or so I
thought.
Just when I think I’m being afforded a little freedom, it’s really just a changing
of the guard.
I was warmly (yet deceivingly) greeted by THREE older versions of my
mom.
That’s right; not one, not two, but
three women whos only job is to monitor my every move.
Their sweet smiles only hide their CIA-operative-spy-like
observation skills.
THAT’S SCHOOL?!
And that’s when I decided…you want something to watch…I’ll give you
something to watch.
So I started by offering all of the teachers as well as my unsuspecting new
classmates the booger that sat upon the tip of my index finger.
For those that fell prey to acting squeamish,
I feigned wiping it on them.
I even
chased a few of the overly-dramatic, threatening to tattoo them with my germy
pointer.
On to the playground…I asked the teacher to help me zip my sweatshirt, and
while she was crouched in front of me, face-to-face, I asked if I could see her
boobs.
Much to my surprise, she denied
my request.
Next, Circle Time…I love that they know all of the same songs as me.
Or at least some version of my playlist.
So when we sang the “ABC’s” I was more than
eager to share how it
should be sung
(with an emphasis on the “P” followed by a rant of “pee-pee, poo-poo” shouts.
And my favorite, Snack Time…In the time it too my teacher to turn around to get the pitcher of water, I
was able to summit our snack table and proclaim, “HEY EVERYBODY, WATCH THIS!…”
But before I could finish the show, I was
quickly scooped up and placed back in the miniature version of a chair.
I am really going to have to step up the executions of my plans.
No worries, I have all year...
