Being A Dog

I have a confession...
I like to pretend to be a dog...normal, right?  My sisters like to help me pretend to be a dog.  For example, today they helped me out by creating "ears" so I looked more canine.  They were perfect...sticky on the back & soft on the front, cut in an oval, and just stiff enough to stand up straight.  Not to mention they had a "powder fresh" scent to them.  My sisters must really love me.

PS - Dear Parent at the library who judges my mom for letting me pretend to be a dog...I like being a dog!  I like playing fetch, drinking with my tongue from a bowl on the floor & peeing outside (especially peeing outside).  My mom says that pretend play is an appropriate developmental stage that helps foster creativity, empathy & expressing appropriate emotions.  So before you judge, know that she's screwing me up in plenty of other ways that me pretending to be a dog should be the least of your worries.

My Lizard

This is my lizard.  There are so many wonderful things about my lizard.  He is soft & rubbery, so he bends in anyway I choose, rendering him almost indestructible.  He is very elastic, so I can hold his tail while swinging him and reach objects almost 4 feet away from me (including my Mom's coffee cup she "puts in the middle of the counter to keep it safe").  I take my lizard everywhere and sleep with him every night.  Read on to find out what else I like to do with my lizard...

This is just one of the many functions I have found for my lizard.  He fits perfectly in the "car holes" of my Dad's car.  Guess what else fits in the "car holes"?... 2 pink tennis balls, the start of a jump rope, 6 matchbox cars & a bottle of bubbles. Virtually anything you want to cram into a small space can find it's way into this fantastic hiding place.  You should try it too, just don't get caught.  I am the only one who finds this at all amusing.

Elevators

Did you know that you can summon the EGR Police AND Fire Dept with the push of just one button? I KNOW, AWESOME! After faking-out my Mom with some evasive corner back moves, running onto the elevator & watching the doors close on her face just before she could get there (thereby making her scale two flights of stairs in 3.6 sec flat) I was able to call my new friends.

Now I'm not that familiar with the particular look she had, but it was priceless.

Jacuzzi

Spent the evening with a new lady...that's right, my first babysitter.  I spanked her bum every time I did a "lap" around her & licked her face when she put me to bed.  Do I know what chicks dig or what?  She'll be back, they always come back for more of The B!  I think next time, I will let her give me a bath and she will REALLY be in for a treat...I'm am a HUGE fan of the "toot-bubbles" & what lady doesn't like a little jacuzzi action?