After 17 days of non-stop Olympics coverage in our home, I have come to learn some very important information. For Example:
*If your country has less than 4 people marching in the opening ceremony, you are probably tied with Tajikistan for 83rd place with one bronze medal.
*The athletes from the USA have a lot of wonderful things to say…about themselves.
*Usain Bolt is my new hero because he can pull off the “Hulk Hogan dip-lean-&-point” like no other.
*A lot of girls look like boys.
And finally,
*Although China took a not-so-close second to USA in the medal count, they win the prize for having a country name that rhymes with one of my most favorite words in the world!
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Having been subjected to countless hours of Olympic viewing, I have come to understand two very important pieces of information: 1) Not everyone in the world looks like me, and 2) I can recognize someone that comes from a country that received almost as much TV coverage as Team USA.
So today at Meijer, when I saw a woman that was clearly one of the 1.3 Billion born in China, I had this to say to her:
“IT’S NOT CHINA, IT’S VAGINA! ”
Having said this numerous times during the games, it should not have come as such a surprise to my mother. But it was.
Lucky for her, the woman (whose first language was clearly not English) looked more confused than angry and just smiled at me.
I, of course, smiled back…the biggest shit-eating grin I have ever smiled in my life.
I think someday I will be an ambassador for this great country of mine.
