PRO: I can reach most of the light switches in the house.
CON: I can reach only most of the light switches. What kind of sadistic builder puts only some switches within arms-length and the rest just a little higher?
PRO: The “good shelf” in the pantry (which has always been just above where I could reach) is now completely accessible.
CON: What used to be a seamless pass underneath the counter overhang has turned into a painful reminder for my frontal lobe that I have exceeded the height limit for passage.
PRO: I no longer need to stand on a stool when I use the little boy’s room (which is very helpful since my planning ahead needs some tweaking and I am usually in a hurry to get started).
CON: When the situation has turned to “emergency” because I inevitably waited too long, my mind is on relieving myself and not the physics of hinges. As in, while simultaneously pulling my pants down and flipping the toilet seat up, I neglected to factor in the ricochet of the seat bouncing off the tank and back to its starting position.
The problem…In the nanosecond it took to flip the seat up, I have already positioned myself flush against the rim of the toilet and started to go.
The result…Midstream, my delicate boy parts get crushed between the porcelain base and the plastic seat pinching together like the jaws of a hungry snapping turtle.
My reaction…In a rage I kick the toilet, punch the lid and yell “I NO PEE IN YOU!”
I think I’ve decided the PRO’s do not outweigh the CON’s. I’m sure you all (at least my male counterparts) would agree. My vote…no more growing. I’ll let you know how that goes.
