And some things are not, like anything that is spring-loaded & my penis!
It has long been my M.O. to clamp, stick or generally attach things to my junk on an inquiring basis. It really comes down to curiosity and my ever-burning desire to figure out the many different functions of my boy-parts (not to mention, anything that involves me taking my pants off is an added bonus).
While primping herself for the day, my Mother called me into her bathroom only to find that I had removed my freedom-inhibiting pants, gently secured some plastic pliers to the soft squishy section below my penis, and was swinging it to and fro like a giant clock pendulum. With a gentle unhinging, she removed them and went back to her business.
As I watched her remove the giant clip securing that mop of burnt blonde hair atop her head, I thought, “I wonder what else that would clamp to?” My first thought…MY PENIS, OF COURSE!
Seeing as I was already pants-free, it took me no time at all to grab the toothy clip, squeeze it open and position it over my entire area-o-fun.
BIG MISTAKE!
With a howl and a hunch, I scrambled to remove my delicate manhood from the jaws of spring-loaded hell.
It was in that moment I was reminded that not everything should take an exploratory trip down penis lane.
And according to my Mom, that includes spring-loaded hair clips, markers, anything attached to the other end of bungee cords, sandwiches, and all girls associated with GoDaddy.com (4 out of 5 I actually have experience with, the 5th may need further research once I figure out what that means).
