Women: Lesson 2

"Everything I need to know about women, I learned from THE B!"
Lesson 2:
While chillin' with my "neighborhood hottie", I turned my back on her for one second & BAM!  A chilly reminder as to why you never turn your back on a woman...especially if that lady has seen the pics you posted with your "out-of-neighborhood hottie."  Lesson learned.

Women: Lesson 1

I'm thinking of branching out to other blogs... coming soon:
"Everything I need to know about women, I learned from THE B!"
Lesson 1:
Show up unannounced at your lady's house on her birthday with flowers and a balloon.  When she answers (& all of her relatives HAPPEN to be there with her) give her the gifts, a kiss & then turn to leave.  After your mom straps you in your car seat, patiently wait 25 years until she's of-age to marry you.  In the mean time, add more shenanigans to The B-Blogs.
Hopefully she has forgiven (and forgotten) the minor infraction of biting her face (twice) you are guilty of...even if your shirt gives you away.

The Blender

Guess what happens when you reach your arm around your Mom really stealth-like to turn on a blender that has a metal spoon in it (while your Mom is standing right next to it, snapping the cup lid on the smoothie she just poured)?
After the shards of plastic stop flying, the glass pitcher has landed (in one piece, remarkably) & the smoothie has COVERED the room...your Mom starts to cry.  Then she starts talking about drinking...the smoothie all over her face must have made her thirsty.