The First Day...Of The Rest Of My Life

Embarking of this adventure called school has long been an anticipated dream of mine.

The build-up to this particular day has been nothing short of monumental; after all, I am “the Baby”.

More importantly, it marks my break from the eagle-eye of my Mother…or so I thought.

Just when I think I’m being afforded a little freedom, it’s really just a changing of the guard.

I was warmly (yet deceivingly) greeted by THREE older versions of my mom.  That’s right; not one, not two, but three women whos only job is to monitor my every move.  Their sweet smiles only hide their CIA-operative-spy-like observation skills.

THAT’S SCHOOL?!

And that’s when I decided…you want something to watch…I’ll give you something to watch.

So I started by offering all of the teachers as well as my unsuspecting new classmates the booger that sat upon the tip of my index finger.  For those that fell prey to acting squeamish, I feigned wiping it on them.  I even chased a few of the overly-dramatic, threatening to tattoo them with my germy pointer.

On to the playground…I asked the teacher to help me zip my sweatshirt, and while she was crouched in front of me, face-to-face, I asked if I could see her boobs.  Much to my surprise, she denied my request.

Next, Circle Time…I love that they know all of the same songs as me.  Or at least some version of my playlist.  So when we sang the “ABC’s” I was more than eager to share how it should be sung (with an emphasis on the “P” followed by a rant of “pee-pee, poo-poo” shouts.

And my favorite, Snack Time…In the time it too my teacher to turn around to get the pitcher of water, I was able to summit our snack table and proclaim, “HEY EVERYBODY, WATCH THIS!…”  But before I could finish the show, I was quickly scooped up and placed back in the miniature version of a chair.

I am really going to have to step up the executions of my plans.  No worries, I have all year...