My Addiction

For those of you who are unaware of the addiction I have been fighting for over a year now, it's time I came clean and admitted that I may have a biting problem.  It's a tough battle that I fight every day, but I am working hard to overcome it.
I have been asked to "take a break" (my Mom calls it "getting kicked out") from two separate Gym daycare rooms, and my Mom is starting to blame my "illness" (A&E calls it that, so I will too) for the "extra-10" she's mysteriously packed on.
The only thing I have going for me is I usually let someone know it's coming (it's only fair) and then I willing put myself into a "Time-Out" (just cutting out the middle man).
Now, I'm not trying to justify the "why" (although I do believe I have a valid reason for each and every nibble...from self-defense to displaced shows of affection).
Nor will I point the finger at any particular influence.
But...

Lets call a spade a spade here, Folks.
This is an excerpt from my all-time FAVORITE book, "Hop On Pop".  I think the picture speaks for itself.
More critical analysis of this timeless classic in future posts...

Child Locks

The only thing that "child locks" on cupboards keep out are adults. I can squeeze my fat little nugget arm into the small gap & get out my arsenal of spray bottles anytime I feel the need for a little sniper-action.
My mom made the mistake of trying to confiscate my stolen bottle of Windex & I tagged her right between the eyes.
Stand back, Sista, I don't have to miss.