I'm short, not blind.
All of those ornaments you call "fragile" are nestled well beyond my reach, creating a very top-heavy effect on our new indoor nature feature. It's not the ornaments I care about...it's the red & white sticks of sweetness shaped like an upside down "J".
And that has become my new mission in life.
After many failed attempts to attain these candy sticks, I was forced to resort to drastic measures.
Needing to bypass the height issue, I drug the counter stool next to the tree and pushed it as close as possible. After maneuvering past some pesky branches, my target was finally within reach.
It really was the perfect crime…if not for the cane-shape of the candy.
While attempting to remove the treat from the tree, it just wouldn’t come unhooked.
So I pulled.
When it still wouldn’t come off, I pulled some more.
That pesky little thing was attached in some way!
So I gave it a yank that would have removed the sword from the stone & some unforeseen circumstances put a wrench in my plan.
The Bad News: I fell off of the stool, hit my forehead on the floor, and the entire tree fell on top of me.
The Good News: I still had the candy cane in my hand.
Hearing the events at hand, my Mom quickly wiped, came to the scene of the crime & found the remnants of what was to be my greatest heist yet.
It didn’t take long to deduce what had transpired (she’s smart like that).
And after checking for any major contusions, placing the tree back to its upright position & cleaning up the shards of broken ornaments; guess what that woman did?
She took my treasure!
In a rage, I took off my underpants, spit on the wall & ran away.
Immature, I know, but I'm 2 and that's all I know.
Apparently, Santa is watching (at least that's what my Mom told me while she attempted to put my clothes back on).
Again with the creepy visions of a fat man sneaking around and keeping tabs on my every move to get me to be good.
If you're telling me I am going to wake up on Christmas morning to an empty stocking and no presents because of one minor infraction...
My reply: We shall see how tough you really are, Big Guy!
