Pick-Up Lines

I know you fellas are always looking for some tried-and-true go to pick-up lines, so I thought I would compile some of my sure-fire lines that have gotten me more attention than my Mom cares to mention.

A few words of caution when attempting to implement the pick-up…
1) The delivery requires an exaggerated sense of innocence.
2) Chubby cheeks are recommended, but not required.
3) Annunciating every word is optional; a little mystery in the translation never hurt anyone.
4) When all else fails, pick your nose.  It throws them for such a loop they will forget all about the failed attempt at trying to impress them & they usually just quietly leave.

"Don't touch my boobs, I touch you boobs!"

"You pretty. There a tooty in my booty."

“Good morning ladies, where you candy?”

“Hi, I Brennan, I eat boogers.”

“My Dad a penis.”

“I cold, put me in you coat.”

“Where you put you money?”

“Look at dat…I spit on you.”

“Where you belly?  Show me!”

“I sleep in crib. I pee in potty.”

“You smell like peanuts.”

“My straw fit in my ear.”

“Dis cheese taste bad.  You try.”

“Put you head here, I give you haircut.”

“I go with you.  You carry me.  I wipe my nose on you.”

“Hello.  I pinch.”

And my personal favorite…

"You noodles, I sauce, lay down!"


These timeless clasics are sure to amaze and woo even the hardest nut to crack.
I, for one, will be using them for years to come.

Keep me posted on your success...