WANTED: Aspiring Showgirls!

Given the current fiscal state of our country, I feel it is my civic duty to help stimulate the economy by offering some job opportunities to anyone interested in supplementing their income with a little part-time work.

Well, not just anyone.  My target audience really is the ladies (preferably those that I find particularly attractive).  But what prospective employer doesn’t discriminate based on looks?

I have created a plan that is a “win-win” for all parties involved.  And thus far, I have offered this job opportunity to exactly three people of the female persuasion.

The position is still vacant.

Here’s my pitch (verbatim):
“Want to come to a show…In my bedroom…You wear a bathing suit…Or a costume…You wear my key necklace…Sometimes I squirt you with water…Sometimes not…I play my guitar…Or drums…You dance…I give you quarters.”

The ladies get the quarters and I get a show.  Like I said, “win-win”!

To date, the only feedback I have received is, “I only work for paper money.”

Done.

I promptly went home, cut up an ass-load of paper, and will have it at the ready for the next time I see my #1 contender.

So in the spirit of capitalism, I urge you all to be as proactive as I, and offer unique employment opportunities for someone to get ahead in this unstable economic climate.

Onward and upward fellow Americans!