Bungee Innovations

I’m curious.  I’m inventive.  I’m mischievous.  Quite an extraordinary combination, I know.

This trifecta of useful traits came in very handy when I discovered the surprising elasticity of bungee cords and their many uses.

Use #1: A fantastic leash when the mood strikes me to pretend to be “Barron”, my alter-canine-ego.

Use #2: A makeshift lock when I loop it around both the doorknob on my door to the doorknob on my sister’s door.  The further the bungee stretches, the harder it is for them to open their makeshift prison.  Watching one of them try to escape while the other pries open the door is like watching someone try to clear the gauntlet…unsuccessfully…every time.  I just roll on the floor watching & laughing.

Use #3: Excellent connection between my sister’s bike, the wagon, the sled & my big wheel (in that order).  The one downfall…when the first object stops, the bungees recoil but do not aid in the stopping process, thereby creating quite a pile-up.

Use #4: De-pantser.  I am smaller than most (approximately ass-height to most adults).  This handicap comes in handy when I want to hook a bungee to the belt loop of anyone taller than me & then sit down.  When they realize what is happening, they instinctively turn around, thereby aiding in the process of bringing their pants to their knees.  Fantastically hilarious…for me.

Use #5: Opener…of everything.  Simply by hooking one end to my shirt, the other to anything needing to be opened and then backing up, I just let physics take over.

What could possibly go wrong with this?  Let me tell you…some things are not secured or attached to a fixed object as well as others.

For example…dresser drawers: attached, cabinet doors: attached, fence gates: attached, faucets: attached, oven doors: attached, dishwasher drawers: NOT ATTACHED!

In a painful discovery, I found out that bungees DO have a maximum tension & something has to give.  In this case, the very tiny plastic clips holding the very heavy sliding drawer full of glasses and bowls were no match for my bungee power.  The surprise outcome (at least to me), the entire drawer broke free from the dishwasher and came soaring toward me in a rocket-propelled instant.  The retracting the bungee, again, did not aid in stopping the inertia of the drawer.

This isn’t the first time my Mom has spent the day shining a flashlight into my eyes to examine my pupils (and I’m sure it won’t be the last).  I don’t know what “checking for dilation” means, but if she’s trying to look into the depths of my brain to somehow explain my actions…keep looking baby!  It will take something stronger than a flashlight to find that source.