The New ABC's

A handful of people are just born performers.  Those who poses a raw natural talent just waiting to be unleashed; some with the ability to sing, some to act, some to dance, and some to tell jokes.
I am what others would refer to as “a quadruple threat”, and was blessed with the capability to do all four exceptionally well and love to display that talent at every opportunity.

Take today, for example.

The knowledgeable staff at the Grand Rapids Children’s Museum has dutifully created a “stage” of sorts for us creative-types to showcase our abilities.  After choosing just the right costume (a tutu, sunglasses, and bunny ears) I rallied the other children as my back-up singers as I performed my rendition of the classic, “The Alphabet Song.”

It went a little something like this…

[NOTE: It is far too difficult to put into words the awesomeness of my “moves” and the depth of my talent, so do your best to visualize an adorable, pot-bellied, blonde, three-year-old boy donning the aforementioned costume and fist-pumping while holding a pig puppet and a mock-banjo…got the image?]

“A,B,C,D,E,F,G. H,I, J, K, L,M, N, O, PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!  HAHAHAHAHA!  I SAID P!  PEE-PEE-POO-POO! I HAVE A PENIS!  I PEE-PEE & POO-POO!"

[Laughter from the children in the crowd = permission to continue & kick it up a notch]

“OLD MCDONALD HAD A BOOTY AND ON HIS FARM HE WENT PEE-PEE AND POO-POO! HAHAHAHAHAHA!"

[Mortified look on multiple mothers’ faces = my mom removing me from the stage]

Don’t worry, I got in one more song as we left…

“THE ITSY BITSY BOOTY WENT UP THE WATER SPOUT.  DOWN CAME THE RAIN AND WASHED THE BOOTY OUT!”

I’m pretty sure my mom is secretly proud of my talent as she waved good bye to those party-pooper moms.

[There I go again, gratuitously throwing in a potty word.  My comedic timing is impeccable!]


P.S. ~ Not that I’m blaming Dr. Seuss again, but there may be some warranted influence not being addressed here…