Holidays = Crazy + Warnings

When people say, "Happy Holidays", I've learned there's very little to do with actually being happy and more about people acting crazy & me getting lots of warnings.

Crazy Example #1:
My Mom & Dad brought a tree inside the house.  I don't mean a little plant, I mean a 7 foot tall pine.
Then, of all things, they strung it with lights...twinkly ones.
To top it all off, they put hangy-things & shinny balls all over it.  Just as a warning to anyone else who may be confused by this, they are NOT the kind of balls you throw.  Someone forgot to mention this important little tid bit to me, and I made the mistake of throwing one at my sister.  After bouncing off of her chest, it crashed to the floor.  I then thought, "what a strange ball"...so I got another one.  Guess what?  The same damn thing happened.  Who would make such an impractical toy?
Warning #1: Do not touch the ornaments.

Crazy Example #2:
The day after the tree went up, placed underneath I found a few of boxes wrapped in really pretty paper and tied with a bow.  I couldn't see what was in them, so naturally, I had to take the paper off to check it out.  Apparently, if the tiny tag doesn't say your name, you can't open it.
(PS~Grandpa, I have some very interesting information to share with you...call me).
Warning #2: Do not open the presents.

Crazy Example #3:
Now everyone is talking about being good and Santa might come to our house.  I've heard that when I go to sleep, he will come in the house via the chimney, eat our cookies, and leave everything I wish for under the tree.  Only one catch, I have to be a "good boy".
Lets put the creepiness of this issue aside for just a moment, and address the more important matter of physics.  I have sat on the lap of this man that they call "Santa".  If you are telling me that his 300+ pound frame is going to squeeze down the chimney with the jeep that I want, I may just rethink my behavior and try being good just to get a glimpse of that.
Now regarding the other little issue of being "good", isn't it all relative?  I have my moments, sure.  Who doesn't?  But does it count if it brings such joy to those who get the pleasure of reading about my day?  I think the minor embarrassment my Mom has to endure is worth the trade off for those loyal followers of The B-Blogs.
Warning #3: Be a good boy...or else.

I am not quite sure what to expect on this day called "Christmas", but until then, I'll report back with more of the crazy (which inevitably will be followed by  more of the warnings).