My Addiction

For those of you who are unaware of the addiction I have been fighting for over a year now, it's time I came clean and admitted that I may have a biting problem.  It's a tough battle that I fight every day, but I am working hard to overcome it.
I have been asked to "take a break" (my Mom calls it "getting kicked out") from two separate Gym daycare rooms, and my Mom is starting to blame my "illness" (A&E calls it that, so I will too) for the "extra-10" she's mysteriously packed on.
The only thing I have going for me is I usually let someone know it's coming (it's only fair) and then I willing put myself into a "Time-Out" (just cutting out the middle man).
Now, I'm not trying to justify the "why" (although I do believe I have a valid reason for each and every nibble...from self-defense to displaced shows of affection).
Nor will I point the finger at any particular influence.
But...

Lets call a spade a spade here, Folks.
This is an excerpt from my all-time FAVORITE book, "Hop On Pop".  I think the picture speaks for itself.
More critical analysis of this timeless classic in future posts...

Child Locks

The only thing that "child locks" on cupboards keep out are adults. I can squeeze my fat little nugget arm into the small gap & get out my arsenal of spray bottles anytime I feel the need for a little sniper-action.
My mom made the mistake of trying to confiscate my stolen bottle of Windex & I tagged her right between the eyes.
Stand back, Sista, I don't have to miss.

Boys & Girls Are Different

If you've ever wondered, "How old is too old for my children of the opposite sex to bathe together?"...
My mom thinks the answer is 2 years, 7 months & 4 days.

As you know, I am obsessed with my favorite boy part as well as my plump rump.  What boy isn't?
During a shower with my sister, I decided it was crucial to repeatedly point out the very obvious differences in our anatomy.  I'm not sure if you are aware, but we are NOT the same & I am very curious about that.
Then, during a game of "hide the dinosaur", my sister did not find it nearly as amusing as I that a very small brontosaurus fits perfectly between my butt cheeks (making the finding of said dinosaur nearly impossible, not to mention awkward for my sister).

I am going to investigate these differences further...I'll report back soon.
Stay tuned for my discoveries.

Trapped

I told my sister, "be dog in cage.".  The convincing was too easy, so I thought I would prolong the fun & sit my 33 lb body on top of the basket, rendering her trapped & unable to escape.  Super-Genius Brennan has outsmarted the 6  year old AGAIN! Score: Brennan=3, Riley=0.
Don't trust the innocent smile, I know exactly what I'm doing.

Naked Flash

When my mom came in to get me from my nap, I greeted her with a big smile & NOTHING else. I am now obsessed with being naked & lovin' it! As soon as she turns her head, it's off with the pants.  No matter where I am or what I'm doing, I always have time for a little naked flash around the house.
If she tries to make me descent again, I sit on the floor straight-legged, shove my undies between my thighs & clench. I wonder what else I can hide from her in there?
More tomorrow...

Roller Coaster

What do you get when you combine a laundry basket & stairs?  A homemade roller coaster , OF COURSE!  It wasn't until after scooting to the edge & launching that I considered breaks.  Don't worry, the front door halted all forward motion & I made sure to pad myself with my blanket and favorite stuffed animal, Fluff.  I am looking further into "Inventors-R-Us" for the development of basket air-breaks.  Maybe I'll get my sisters in on this idea, they are always full of great suggestions & willing to use me as a test dummy.

Rug Burn

I learned a very important lesson today...
Whey trying to escape from your mom after your bath, via sliding down the stairs feet-first on your belly at an extremely high speed, it is VERY IMPORTANT to remember underwear!  Rug burn is not fun.  It's especially unpleasant when it's under my Mickey Mouse undies.
Next time...turn over.